~Khalid’s Journal~

6 03 2008

coretan kisah hidup pejuang kebanggaan kami,

warhamhu wa’afihi wa’fu’anhu



Assalamualaikum semua… aku buat blog ni untuk berkongsi pengalaman
hidup aku dgn semua kawan2 aku sebab ramai yang tanya kenapa aku ambik spm
lambat….aku tulis dlm BI tau…         


      My name is Khalid Abdul Aziz. I was born on 12
December 1987. Now my age is 18 years old. I was in form 4 at SM Teknik Bukit
Piatu, Melaka. In school, I was very active in sport. I can play all sports
like rugby, football, badminton n table tennis. But I only play rugby for my
school. I enjoy this game because it can improve my stamina n can srengthen my
muscles. Although it is a rough game but it is a good way to release tension by
tackling n pulling down the players of the opposing team.. hehehe…Other than
sports, I also involve myself in cadet(pkbm).As a cadet, I represent the school
n state cadet team. I’m an outdoor person.      


    In mid July 2003, I discovered a lump on the left side of
my neck. It was 2cm in diameter. I wasn’t worried about it because it was not
painful. I thought it was my pulse. But, after a few weeks, it grew bigger and
I found another one behind my neck. During one of my camping, I consulted the
army doctor about my lumps n he said that I should be worried if the lumps get
bigger. He advised me to go to the doctor if that happens.

     In 18 October 2003, my father took me to a private
GP(General Practioner) to have my swollen lymph nodes checked. After a physical
examination of a node, he refered me to the general hospital. He was not sure
what caused my nodes to swell. 3 days later, I went to the general hospital.
There, I had a chest x-ray and a blood test done. The results were normal n the
doctor refered me to the ENT(ear,nose n throat) clinic for further
investigation. All this happened very fast n caught me by suprise. For all of
you out there one lesson to be learned is NEVER TAKE HEALTH 4 GRANTED….


     On the second of Ramadhan that is 26 October 2003, I
went to the ENT clinic, bringing along the referral letter. Since that day, I
went through a battery of tests such as laryngoscopy, a fine needle biopsy,
ultra sound scan, a CT scan, and blood test. I WAS VERY SHOCKED with all these
tests because it was my first experience in my life n it was VERY PAINFUL!!!.
An appointment was made on the first December with a specialist to got a
diagnosis. While waiting for diagnosis, I found more lumps in my elbow n groin
area. I don’t really understand what is going on in my body because I don’t
really feel any pain but the ENT doctor said it might be LYMPHOMA. That was the
first time I heard of the word lymphoma. My father told me it is type of
CANCER. CANCER???!!!!! I was shocked but I felt quite calm when the doctors
said that this disease can be cured with the grace of ALLAH.

     We went again to the ENT clinic on the first of
December but I was disappointed when told that the FNAC(fine needle aspiration
cytology) was inconclusive because lack of tissue.This means more tests!! That
same afternoon, I came back to the clinic to get a node excision. The procedure
was quite PAINFUL because they only gave me a LA(local anaesthesia). I was
quite suprised at the size of the node. It was as big as a table tennis ball.
The CT scan showed that I have multiple cervical swellings. So, another two
weeks of waiting to get the node biopsy results. Meanwhile, I prayed so much
that I will survive this difficult time with patience n strength with the help


     Since that day, I felt unwell. I became
pale,lethargic,night fevers, headaches,breathlessness,night sweats n intense
itching. I don’t understand why I became like this because before this I was
active n healthy. However, for the past month I learn doing exercise the QIQONG
way to help slow down the spread of the disease. I even went to some
traditional healers, homeopathy,energy healing n took supplement. My condition
became worse n I got admitted in the hospital on the 14 December 2003. On that
day, I was very anaemic with a HB(haemoglobin) of 3.1. That explain why I felt
weak, breathless n chest discomfort due to lack of oxygen in the body. I was
way below the normal HB that is 14-16. I actually collapsed in the ward on the
day of admission.I feel thankful to ALLAH to make it possible 4 me to fast n do
my tarawikh although my health deteriorated so fast during the month of


     I stayed in the ward for 13 days. During this time, I
got low grade fevers for 12 days n I was on antibiotics all the while. Many
tests were done on me like blood tests,gave me oxygen,gave me sodium chloride
with drip,transfuse blood n lastly a doctor took a bone marrow specimen through
a procedure called the BMA(Bone Marrow Aspiration) because she said they want
to look whether the disease has gone to the bones or not. At this point, I was
engulfed with anxiety because I can’t imagine how it will be like when they
DRILL into my pelvic bone!!!!! Before the BMA, I was injected with pethidine to
sedate me n give me less pain when they aspirate the bone marrow. After that, I
had to lay for 6 hours.

     I waited for 1 week 4 the bone marrow result. The
result came on Wednesday, 24th December 2003. It shows that possibly my bone
marrow has been infiltrated. This means my disease(lymphoma) is at grade 4B
which is the most advanced stage. LAHAULAWALAQUWWATAILLABILLAH…..


     One day after that, I was off to Hospital

Kuala Lumpur

in an ambulance because the visiting hematologist
wanted me to start treatment there. The night before that, my mother gave me a
haircut in the ward because the doctor advised me to, because my hair will drop
as a side effect of chemotherapy n I won’t be psychologically affected. The
ambulance ride was my first experience. My mother who accompanied me had a
tough time in the ambulance because the driver drove fast n it was not very


     We reached HKL at 8.30 am. We registed at the
haematology clinic n I was admitted to ward 19 which is a third class ward. My
father is entitled 4 first classnward but it was full at that time. I stayed in
ward 19 for 2 days. It was here that the doctors told me that my bone marrow is
90% infiltrated n they would not delay treatment. From their clinical findings
n from the bone marrow slides, they have a different diagnosis of my disease
that is the NHL ‘T’ cell(NHL-Non Hodgkins Lymphoma) instead of NHL ‘B’ cell as
diagnosed by



. It seems that
it is not easy to diagnose this disease because there are about 35 subtypes
involving many types of cells in our body. I was overwhelmed with this newly
learned fact about the greatness of ALLAH creation. We don’t realise that we
are endowed with so many types of cells in our body n when some cells
malfunction, our body become sick. SUBHANALLAH- Glory be to ALLAH…….


Alhamdulillah, I just got opportunity to
re-write and publish the continuation of Khalid’s journal last week…moga
semua dapat manfaat dr kisah yg ingin Khalid kongsikan dgn org ramai. beliau
bercita2 ingin menulis sebuah buku ttg perjalanan hidupnya ttp
xberkesampaian..Ya Allah, sampaikanlah salam rindu kami ini kpdnya di



Continuation of CHAPTER 7: NHL- NON

…So, I
was given the first dose of Daunoruvicin and Vincristine through slow bolus. I
started on the ALL Hogh Risk Protocol. This is a treatment for Acute
Lymphomatic Leukimia. When I started chemo, I didn’t feel anything. Maybe my
body takes time to react to the drugs. I was told that the red drug (dauno) can
cause cardiac toxicity, red urine, hair loss, nausea, vomiting and decrease
blood counts. Vincristine could give me Peripheral Neuropathy that is numbness
of my fingers and toes and constipation. However, I pray to God that I would
sail through this treatment without much side effect.

night, my Uncle Zul took care of me because my mother needed a rest and she
went to my cousin’s house. It was difficult of her to stay in that ward because
it was crowded and the patients were all male. The next day, I was lucky to get
a bed in the SW21 that is a first class ward. I was put in a four bedded room
and later to a single room. Next treatment was MTX (Methotrexaote) which was
given intrathecally (meaning that the drug was given through an injection in
the spine (Lumbar Puncture)). I also had L-aspariginuse but it was withheld
after 2 days because my liver enzyme (ALT) went up to 226 (normal is <40)
which means that my liver cannot tolerate to this drug. In addition, I was also
given dexamethasone and prednisolone. I completed my 4 round of dauno and vincristine,
blood and cryo transfusions and finally on 20th of January, I was discharged.
During this time, I made a few friends in the ward, they are Nik and Abdul
Rahman. Both of them are 16 years old and have ALL. We spent time watching TV,
chit chat and playing games whenever we are bored.


On the
4th February 2004, I was readmitted for my second round of chemo.
The regime this time is HyperCVAD-course A which is a combination of
cyclophosphamide, vincristine, adriamycin, dexamethasone and IT ara-c and MTX.
We departed from Malacca in the morning and headed straight to haemato clinic.
The clinic was packed with patients waiting for their turn. As for me, thank
God I was asked to go straight to the ward. I reached about the same time as
Uncle Zainol from Miri. So, we end up sharing the same room. The next morning,
I had a BMA (Bone Marrow Aspiration) done by Dr. Chua. I was relieved that he
secceeded getting the bone marrow. Uncle Zainol was not as lucky as me because
he had to go through three times of BMA. He seems to be in a lot of pain. The
bone marrow result came the next day where it shows partial remission with BMI
(Bone Marrow involvement) 8 to 10 %.

following day, the nurses set a line and started chemo. I completed the cycle
this time without any complication, alhamdulillah. But this time I lost more
hair. After my blood count was normal, on the 19th of February, I
was discharged. Praise be to Allah I did not have any complication accept for
the LP. Dr. Chua failed to do it twice and I had to repeat the procedure by Dr.
Ong. I hope next time I won’t face this problem anymore. I went home to
Malacca. I stayed at home for only 1 week and I had a fever which was caused by
an infection. I was admitted to



on the
26th of February. I was given antibiotics which gave me a lot of
pain during the infusion. After my fever subsided on the 1st March,
I was advised to have a chemo port inserted because the doctors had a difficult
time to set lines because my nerves had collapse due to previous chemotherapy.
It was painful for me because it was done only under LA (Local Anaesthesia). I
was discharged as soon as my wound healed.


3 weeks, I went to HKL for the next round of chemo which is the HyperCVAD B, a
combination of Ara-c, Methotrexate and iumbar puncture. This is a high dose
drug compared to HyperCVAD A. My sister, Asma’ looked after me because my
mother had flu and cough. This time, I had a mild infection. My mouth felt
sore. The nurses gave me some mouth gargle. I shared the room with a nice
middle-aged man who is a very pleasant person. His name is Pak Cik Wan Mohamad.
He suffered from DVT that is “Deep Vein Thrombosis”. We talked about many
things and shared our food. I stayed in the hospital for 23 days because my
blood count took longer time to climb up to normal. When my blood count
returned to normal, I was discharged but for only 1 week. I went back to my new
home in Jasin, Malacca. We just moved to Jasin and the house was messy but my
mother did not allow me to help with housework and unpacking out things because
I must have enough rest and avoid dust for fear of infection. Thank God. I was
ell and at the end of the week, I was ready for the next chemo.

On the
5th of April 2004, I was admitted for BMA and the next day the
doctors started me with HyperCVAD A. this is the 2nd time I’m going
through this regime. I was well and there was no complication this time. I had
a terrible time sharing the room with a patient who had lots of visitors and
poor hygiene. But luckily I had some sice time with my friends Rahman and Nik.
Rahman came from


have his FLAG/IDA while awaiting for his transplant. He has no match among his
siblings. So, he was hoping for an unrelated donor. Nik came in for his ‘B
Block’ of the German Protocol. He had very serious mucositis at that time and
he was confined to his room. Rahman and I visited him occasionally. We played
games on his PS2 although he was on morphine drip. Both of them were high spirited
and were very positive in their fight against the disease. The BMA result came
after 3 days of chemo and it shows the presence of 8 to 10 percent blasts
in my marrow. After this chemo, the doctors decided to change to MIDAC for the
next chemo. This is another high dose drug regime which I have to go through.

I left
the hospital on 21st of April 2004. the day before my siblings all
came to have their blood taken for HLA (human Leukocyte Antigen) typing. This
is to find out who would be match my blood for transplant later. Before I left,
Abdul rahman had fever and severe vomiting. My mother and I sympathized with
him. He was so sick and would not eat but he still can talk and make a joke
with me. His brother Hanif was there to take care of him. The others in the
room were Pak Cik Zainol and Pak Cik MatNoor. I was given a TCA appointment for


When I
was home, my friend Nik sent sms to me. He wrote the sad news of Rahman’s
demise. I was shocked and sad that he had passed away but from Allah we come
and to HIM we shall return. He was bleeding in his stomach, had asthma and
kidney failure because of the side effects of high dose chemo. I must keep my
spirit up and hope Allah will cure me.

On the
10th of May 2004, I was admitted in ward 21 to be given MIDAC regime
consisting of Mitoxantrone, Ara-c and Dexamethosone. Before that, I was told by
Dr, Jameela that this is a high dose and quite harsh compared to the regimes
before this. I was told to drink a lot of water to avoid drug toxicity and
kidney damage.

started chemo on 12th May 2004. this time I lost all my hair
including my eyebrows. Once finish, I was given 3 days home leave which I spent
in Putrajaya in my auntie’s home. I was well and I didn’t realize that I have
contracted the herpis zoster virus because I was neutropienic. Before I left
for the hospital with Mak Long, Nik sms me saying that he has high fever with
low blood count and low blood pressure. The next day he was sent to the ICU
because of septicaemia. That same afternoon, Thursday, 20th of May
2004, Nik passed away. In 10 days, I have lost two of my good friends, this
time I was quite ill because of the shingles. Iwas isolated because this
disease is very contagious. After 2 weeks, I was discharged. The plan is after
this I will have BMA and gallium scan and also ‘A’ block of the German Protocol.

I went
home and spend my days indoors. I didn’t go out because my blood counts were
low. A few of my friends came over to visit me and we palyed carom and RISK.

At the
end of June, I was admitted for ‘A’ block. This regime is high dose protocol.
Within 5 days, I was given a combination of 5 drugs that is MTX, Vineristine,
Ifosfamide, Cytarabine and VP-16 plus intrarhecal (LP). The MTX caused me
mucositis. Thank God it was not that bad and I could still swallow my food. On
the following month, I did a gallium scan where the radiologist injected
isotope into my vein 48 hours before the scan to check whether the disease has spread
to othe parts of my body. Thank God the result was negative. Bone marrow were
also normal and clear of blasts. So, the doctors planned to give me low dose of
chemo while waiting for transplant scheduled on the 18th of October
2004. I had my chemo port removed in



on the
4th of October. However transplant was postponed because of scabbies
and infection at the chemo port site. I was worried because of the delay but
this is a blessing in disguise because I was able to fast the whole of Ramadhan
and only came for PBSCT 2 weeks after raya.

CHAPTER 11: Peripheral Blood Stem Cell Transplant

one month of resting at home I was due for my transplant. We traveled to KL on
Sunday morning, 28th of November 2004. I brought quite a lot of my
things because this time I was told by the doctor that I would have to stay
quite a long time in the ward. Before entering the transplant room, my bags
were sterilized and I changed into a clean hospital clothes. I was given a
briefing on personal hygiene and care of food during the transplant because
extra care has to be taken during the transplant process.

morning, I was wheeled to the Angio department to have my triple lumar hickman
catheter inserted. It was dine under local anaesthesia (LA) without any
sedation. It was terrible experience. I had to bear so much pain as the doctor
tunneled through my tissues to get the line in. they took longer time than

that done, I was ready for the next treatment that is TBI (total body
irradiation). This will take 3 days with 2 doses daily……………(Khalid’s journal
stops here. Khalid left us to meet Allah the Almighty on 15th
November 2006..allahummaghfirlahu warhamhu wa’afihi wa’fu’anhu) –missing him
lots and lots.








2 responses

1 02 2009
omar hajawi

May Allah be merciful with him. I praise this young man’s writing of his journal despite all the pains and inconveniences he experienced. It gave me a close realization about what cancer patients go through and the lenght of time and complicated treatments involved. I pray that Allah keeps this desease away from us and help cure those who suffer and give us a way to find a cure for it.

5 06 2011
syafiqah marsitah

smoga Allah berkati roh arwah di sna..buat family arwah pemergian ny adlh utk m’guji sejauh mane keimanan dan ketakwaan kite pada-Nya…Allah tidak akn beri sesuatu mlebihi k’mampuan kite utk memikulnya…

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