*kemarau hati*

26 11 2006


Rintik hujan daun kebasahan
Kenangan larut di arus rindu
Malam gelap zulumat yang menutup sinaran
Kemarau hati semakin memilu

Hanya gemersik angin dari pohon-pohon
Yang mengimbau ingatan meramas nurani
Bak amukan gelora yang menghempas di dada
Resah sendumu menggamit derita
Berderaian di mata

Yang pulang pergi usahlah dirintih
Doakan saja dikurnia sejahtera
Apalah diratap dengan tangis keharuan
Leraikan hiba pujuklah hatimu
Pemergiannya iktibar buatmu

Usah dianyam sepi dengan kesedihan
Tak terhalang segala kehendak Ilahi
Dituruti rasa tak sampai ke mana
Duka dan lara melemahkan jiwa
Simpanlah di hati

Bila sampai di garis sempadan
Perahu usia di hentian terakhir
Tiada pun sesaat detiknya dipertangguh
Hidup direntas ketentuan takdir
Kemarau hati biarkan berlalu


Allahummaghfirlahu warhamhu wa’afihi wa’fuanhu…terima kasih kpd semua yg mendo’akan Allahyarham adik saya, Khalid dan kami sekeluarga. semoga pemergiannya mendekatkan lagi diri kita semua kepada ALLAH dan menjadi inspirasi utk meneruskan perjuangan dlm kehidupan sbg hamba2Nya yang bertaqwa, inshaallah..barakallahufiikum…

Dan sungguh akan Kami berikan cobaan kepadamu, dengan sedikit ketakutan,
kelaparan, kekurangan harta, jiwa dan buah-buahan. Dan berikanlah berita gembira
kepada orang-orang yang sabar. (yaitu) orang-orang yang apabila ditimpa musibah,
mereka mengucapkan: "Inna lillaahi wa innaa ilaihi raaji’uun"

coretan kisah hidup pejuang kebanggaan kami, KHALID..semoga dikau tenang di sana di sisi ALLAH..alFatihah

15 11 2006




Assalamualaikum semua… aku buat blog ni untuk berkongsi pengalaman
hidup aku dgn semua kawan2 aku sebab ramai yang tanya kenapa aku ambik spm
lambat….aku tulis dlm BI tau…         


      My name is Khalid Abdul Aziz. I was born
on 12 December 1987. Now my age is 18 years old. I was in form 4 at SM Teknik
Bukit Piatu, Melaka. In school, I was very active in sport. I can play all
sports like rugby, football, badminton n table tennis. But I only play rugby
for my school. I enjoy this game because it can improve my stamina n can
srengthen my muscles. Although it is a rough game but it is a good way to
release tension by tackling n pulling down the players of the opposing team..
hehehe…Other than sports, I also involve myself in cadet(pkbm).As a cadet, I
represent the school n state cadet team. I’m an outdoor person.   


    In mid July 2003, I discovered a lump on the left side
of my neck. It was 2cm in diameter. I wasn’t worried about it because it was
not painful. I thought it was my pulse. But, after a few weeks, it grew bigger
and I found another one behind my neck. During one of my camping, I consulted
the army doctor about my lumps n he said that I should be worried if the lumps
get bigger. He advised me to go to the doctor if that happens.

     In 18 October 2003, my father took me to a
private GP(General Practioner) to have my swollen lymph nodes checked. After a
physical examination of a node, he refered me to the general hospital. He was
not sure what caused my nodes to swell. 3 days later, I went to the general
hospital. There, I had a chest x-ray and a blood test done. The results were
normal n the doctor refered me to the ENT(ear,nose n throat) clinic for further
investigation. All this happened very fast n caught me by suprise. For all of
you out there one lesson to be learned is NEVER TAKE HEALTH 4 GRANTED….


     On the second of Ramadhan that is 26 October
2003, I went to the ENT clinic, bringing along the referral letter. Since that
day, I went through a battery of tests such as laryngoscopy, a fine needle
biopsy, ultra sound scan, a CT scan, and blood test. I WAS VERY SHOCKED with
all these tests because it was my first experience in my life n it was VERY
PAINFUL!!!. An appointment was made on the first December with a specialist to
got a diagnosis. While waiting for diagnosis, I found more lumps in my elbow n
groin area. I don’t really understand what is going on in my body because I
don’t really feel any pain but the ENT doctor said it might be LYMPHOMA. That
was the first time I heard of the word lymphoma. My father told me it is type
of CANCER. CANCER???!!!!! I was shocked but I felt quite calm when the doctors
said that this disease can be cured with the grace of ALLAH.

     We went again to the ENT clinic on the first of
December but I was disappointed when told that the FNAC(fine needle aspiration
cytology) was inconclusive because lack of tissue.This means more tests!! That
same afternoon, I came back to the clinic to get a node excision. The procedure
was quite PAINFUL because they only gave me a LA(local anaesthesia). I was
quite suprised at the size of the node. It was as big as a table tennis ball.
The CT scan showed that I have multiple cervical swellings. So, another two
weeks of waiting to get the node biopsy results. Meanwhile, I prayed so much
that I will survive this difficult time with patience n strength with the help


     Since that day, I felt unwell. I became
pale,lethargic,night fevers, headaches,breathlessness,night sweats n intense
itching. I don’t understand why I became like this because before this I was
active n healthy. However, for the past month I learn doing exercise the QIQONG
way to help slow down the spread of the disease. I even went to some
traditional healers, homeopathy,energy healing n took supplement. My condition
became worse n I got admitted in the hospital on the 14 December 2003. On that
day, I was very anaemic with a HB(haemoglobin) of 3.1. That explain why I felt
weak, breathless n chest discomfort due to lack of oxygen in the body. I was
way below the normal HB that is 14-16. I actually collapsed in the ward on the
day of admission.I feel thankful to ALLAH to make it possible 4 me to fast n do
my tarawikh although my health deteriorated so fast during the month of


     I stayed in the ward for 13 days. During this
time, I got low grade fevers for 12 days n I was on antibiotics all the while.
Many tests were done on me like blood tests,gave me oxygen,gave me sodium
chloride with drip,transfuse blood n lastly a doctor took a bone marrow
specimen through a procedure called the BMA(Bone Marrow Aspiration) because she
said they want to look whether the disease has gone to the bones or not. At
this point, I was engulfed with anxiety because I can’t imagine how it will be
like when they DRILL into my pelvic bone!!!!! Before the BMA, I was injected
with pethidine to sedate me n give me less pain when they aspirate the bone
marrow. After that, I had to lay for 6 hours.

     I waited for 1 week 4 the bone marrow result.
The result came on Wednesday, 24th December 2003. It shows that possibly my
bone marrow has been infiltrated. This means my disease(lymphoma) is at grade
4B which is the most advanced stage. LAHAULAWALAQUWWATAILLABILLAH…..


     One day after that, I was off to Hospital

Kuala Lumpur

in an
ambulance because the visiting hematologist wanted me to start treatment there.
The night before that, my mother gave me a haircut in the ward because the
doctor advised me to, because my hair will drop as a side effect of
chemotherapy n I won’t be psychologically affected. The ambulance ride was my
first experience. My mother who accompanied me had a tough time in the
ambulance because the driver drove fast n it was not very comfortable.


     We reached HKL at 8.30 am. We registed at the
haematology clinic n I was admitted to ward 19 which is a third class ward. My
father is entitled 4 first classnward but it was full at that time. I stayed in
ward 19 for 2 days. It was here that the doctors told me that my bone marrow is
90% infiltrated n they would not delay treatment. From their clinical findings
n from the bone marrow slides, they have a different diagnosis of my disease
that is the NHL ‘T’ cell(NHL-Non Hodgkins Lymphoma) instead of NHL ‘B’ cell as
diagnosed by Malacca Hospital. It seems that it is not easy to diagnose this
disease because there are about 35 subtypes involving many types of cells in
our body. I was overwhelmed with this newly learned fact about the greatness of
ALLAH creation. We don’t realise that we are endowed with so many types of
cells in our body n when some cells malfunction, our body become sick.
SUBHANALLAH- Glory be to ALLAH…….   


smg roh Khalid tenang di sampingNya..berakhirlah kehidupannya di dunia ini bertemu cinta ALLAH yg diburu olehnya selama ini..alFatihah

15 11 2006

assalamu’alaikum wbt..
tanggal 15 november 2006 bersamaan 23 syawal 1427H insan yg paling kami sayangi telah pergi bertemu Tuhan yg menciptakannya, Allah yg telah memberi dirinya sebagai pinjaman teristimewa buat kami sekeluarga, Khalid bin Abdul Aziz.
sama2 do’akan roh khalid tenang dan bahagia di sana dan di tempatkan bersama2 hamba2 ALLAH yg bertaqwa kpdNya..
do’akan kami sekeluarga diberi kekuatan dan ketabahan utk menghadapi ujian dr ALLAH ini dan mendekatkan lagi diri kami dgnNya..biarpun rindu kami tidak tertanggung lagi buat dirinya, kami redha pemergian khalid adalah takdir ALLAH yg terindah yg telah tertulis buat dirinya dan kami sekeluarga..kami berdo’a agar kami sekeluarga akan bersatu di JannahNya sbg hamba2Nya yg dikasihi ALLAH..
hadiakan jutaan do’a dan alFatihah buat roh khalid agar arwah sentiasa tenang bersama2 Allah di alam baqa’..
Khalid adalah adik kami yg paling kami kagumi kerana dia merupakan insan yg paling tabah dan kuat dlm menghadapi ujian ALLAH terhadap dirinya, arwah tidak pernah mengadu atau mengeluh kesakitan bahkan menganggap semua itu sbg dugaan buat dirinya..Khalid merupakan anak yg soleh, hamba yg taat pada perintah ALLAH, sahabat yg baik utk semua…betapa pun kami sayang pada dirinya, kami tahu ALLAH lebih jauh menyayangi dirinya drpd kami..
he is such a good boy, the most brilliant, the most handsome person we’ve ever known..

kami yg menyayanginya dan yg selalu mendo’akan yg terbaik buat Khalid yg kami sayangi buat selamanya,
abah,ummi,omar,asma’,sumayyah,abdullah zubair dan huzaifah.

(segenggam tabah dipertahankan, kami pohon dgn sangat ya ALLAH, satukan kami sekeluarga di jannahMu kelak..berila kami segunung dan selautan kekuatan utk memulangkan pinjaman yg paling bernilai buat kami..terima kasih Allah kerana memberi kami peluang utk mengenali, mengasihi dan menyayanginya..rindu kami buat Khalid sudah tak tertanggung lagi tetapi kami tahu Kau lebih menyayangi dia..kami redha atas segala takdir yg telah disusun indah buat kami sekeluarga..Khalid, tenanglah jiwamu bersama ALLAH di sana, kau telah menjalankan tugasmu sbg hambaNya yg beriman selama kau hidup di dunia ini…ketabahan dan kekuatan menjadi sumber inspirasi buat kami meneruskan perjuanganmu dalam kehidupan yg fana ini..smg kita akan bersua kelak bersama2 golongan yg ALLAH kasihi..ketahuilah, kami sayang dan kami bangga dgn dirimu..ingatan kami kepadamu akan kekal hingga ke akhirnya..kami yg menyayangimu kerana ALLAH, abah,ummi, omar, asma’, sumayyah, abdullah zubair dan huzaifah )